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Hello (:

25 June 2016
Angst Blog gets Angst Post

Since there's no better place for this what LOL. And fury makes fingers go tippity tappity typing fast.

Have not been so incredulously upset at an individual in such a long time. The whole thing is just ridiculous.

Also mildly amused at how Taylor Swift's Bad Blood is kind of stuck in my head now because of the parallel. After all, I once considered this girl one of my really good friends. Then went through a shitload for 3 years because she just drew back and changed (all because I got into a stupid relationship) until I managed to confront her. And it only just got vaguely better.

But you know what? This ridiculous person thinks in some sick fantasy world of hers that it is alright to tell stories about me and my relationship to people who barely know me. And not just stories, but untruths, that in her strange tinted view of the world are truths.

No. Just no. No way is it okay. I mean, you're not only telling things that are weird, but are not true, to people (or at least this person I know you told it to) who overdramatise things. Way to go. Especially when said person barely knows me. So good job, get a life, stop being so obsessed about me.

25 June 2015
The Slow Regard For Silent THings

So here I am, back in my cave - because it's one of the few places I can rely on when I get into one of these moods.

I'm tired, and today feels worse than yesterday. A continuation of the crappy feeling I had in the afternoon/night. Interestingly, the closest way to relate is from the latest book of Patrick Rothfuss that I just read: "The Slow Regard For Silent Things".

Where Auri feels that nothing is right. Everything is different; wrong. And that she's also losing herself. Shattered. And everything around is foreign, unwelcoming.

28 March 2015
Message In A Bottle

A post of nostalgia - better faster pen before no more feel.

Happy Birthday lao ba (disowned) lao pok tort tort (: Super happy for you and hope that there will be good news and baby tort torts soon >:D

Haha feels weird to be blogging like this again since the emo nemo phase has passed. But those were definitely memorable days and a pretty defining and large part of my JC years. I still feel like the same person I was back then - barely a day older, even if it's been 4 years. Yet, looking at the old posts, it feels like a different person.

Still, it's nice to know that we can share and confide the same as before. (: We need to have more time for catch up rather than just haphazard meet ups haha (so update your blog! #circularreasoning)

Unfortunately, I don't think i'll be updating this blog much, if any more. I'm not sure why, but even writing now is difficult as it feels like i'm trying to put on an old skin that doesn't fit anymore. This blog is full of memories and the years I spent growing up (gosh I sound old), and while I will still look back at it fondly, it feels discordant to post here once again.

Perhaps, despite my #peterpansyndrome and feeling forever 18 internally, coming back here makes me acknowledge the fact that age has indeed changed me. And perhaps it's time to seal this up as an album of precious memories and head on to the next phase of life, wherever that is. (:

P.S. WHAT HAS UNI DONE TO ME? MY WRITING IS TERRIBLE, ALL OVER THE PLACE, AND MESSY NOW. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY. U_U

P.P.S. Just saw my dashboard and realised that I have tried to blog in the past year! Haha! Twice, in fact. Unfortunately the beginnings of those posts remain as drafts, never to see the light of day (even forgotten by me)

26 December 2013

If i'm supposed to treat a person with respect because of hierarchy, then perhaps it's time to quit this ridiculous system.

Furthermore, i'm not going to be some hypocritical person who says nasty things one moment and coddles up to be a goody two shoes the other. Superficialness has always gotten on my nerves.

Fed up.

09 December 2013

Soli deo gloria

Soli deo gloria

Soli deo gloria

Everything should be motivated by love

02 December 2013
Baking Expeditions

Over the past year or so, i've moved on from cookies into more sugary stuffs. Which i don't think is very healthy, but it's still very fun to make :D

I've made quite a few frostings' this year, with my very first (Buttercream Icing) being of dubious outcome haha. Mainly because there was no icing sugar so we used caster sugar instead which lead to a very grainy texture :X Oh, and the frosting melted pretty fast (but that might also have been due to the temperature of the cupcakes because we were rushing to get it done before meeting Eliezer)...

Afterwhich I attempted Cream Cheese Frosting (recipe here) for my cupcakes which flavour I can no longer remember. (I think it was chocolate) And this time, while quite yum, was a bit to much for the cupcake to frosting ratio :X The frosting also melted pretty fast D: Which made it look a bit icky...

And then I found this simple recipe for Sugared Doughnut Holes which is really easy and yumyum, and so I made it twice in a short span of time! Hahaha! OH it was for Sherri's farewell chalet and first, and then afterwards because I couldn't sleep. But it's pretty unhealthy and I haven't made it since :X haha! Maybe this December i'll do it again!~

Next, i attempted a Hazelnut Chocolate Cake with Hazelnut Chocolate Buttercream Frosting which was not too bad i think...though kinda too sweet. Not to mention that i think the chocolate cake with it was a bit too sweet too, and so it was like sugar overload x.x Once again, problems with fast melting frosting that made the overall attempt to frost the cake icky :( So my first frosted cake was pretty much a mess :S And ugly...lol

One wonders why I keep using buttercream as my base when i'm not a fan of butter and the butter obviously makes it melt fast in Singapore's hot and humid weather -_-...

After that I made a Durian Cake for my dad's birthday, with Durian Cream Frosting (here). The cake was just a vanilla sponge cake which I think tasted more like a butter cake than a sponge cake, but was still pretty yummy :P And the frosting was easier because it's basically just mushed durian with whipped cream and a teeny bit of sugar - diabetes friendly for once ;D haha! And although i should have strained the durian mush so it wasn't so stringy, it was still yum ^w^ Unfortunately, my cake frosting skills still suck real bad, and so it looked really lumpy and weird. And of course i had to do weird stuff like try and ice happy birthday with writing icing that's been left in the nice humid room temperature...So the red icing basically spread like soup on top of the cake and looked like the cake was bleeding OTL /fail. (But the taste is what matters right? :P)

Oh, oh! Some time before this or after this (I can't remember, oh no going to get alzheimer's D:), i attempted macarons and they succeeded!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woohoo!~~

So i did macarons with milk chocolate ganache (which is really just chopped choc, a bit of butter, cream, melt-mix-refrigerate), because the chocolate chips bought were semi-sweet u_u...which meant that my ganache was really sweet haha! But still, yay!~ Pretty good first attempt and was really happy with them! :D

After which, i think after too much cake and sugar and whatnot, i hiatus-ed from baking for a while. Probably also because of projects due haha!

Then came Peg's 21st where Brenz and I colluded to make a Chocoholic Cake :D

Ambitious me being ambitious, decided that i wanted to try my hand at making fondant because online recipes made it look easy and fondant cakes are ever-so-pretty!

So I tried a basic marshmallow fondant recipe :O And believe me, the goo went from fun, to gross, to eek i'm not eating this! haha... the amount of icing sugar that goes into a piece of fondant is sick. And after making it, i don't think i'm ever eating fondant again, much less making it...(maybe once in a blue moon for fun hehe) I have photographic evidence of the horrendousness of it all :O and the stunning pink bubblegum colour did not help at all... Not to mention that instead of rolling it out thinly and cutting out pretty shapes, we made fat sausages of "PEGS" "21st" instead hahaha! Really diabetes inducing xP

But moving on to the cake~

I don't know much about the cake, it was pretty okay, but the Milk Chocolate Buttercream Frosting was delish! (Cake & Frosting recipe here) Finally! A frosting that I super loved, and didn't melt like crazy to look like goop on the cake!!!!!! (perhaps because i learned to cool the cake down, but whatever~) It was pretty good looking, and finger licking good! (Despite all the icing sugar that went into it :X) So yay!~ Finally found a frosting that I will reuse ^.^v

And now, after the horrors of Finance is over, i'm gonna bake macarons again :D this time more, so hopefully I can give them out to more people as exam/post-exam welfare ^^

But it's late (I like baking when there's no one around to hover around me haha) and so i decided to make the macaron filling first and chill overnight. This time i didn't want to do a chocolate ganache, because it's really killer sweet and i'm trying not to give myself or others diabetes :X

So I was thinking of doing a vanilla flavoured filling. So i went about looking for recipes, and found a French Buttercream base which i added vanilla essence into. And wow...the egg yolks in the french buttercream really gives it an awesome texture so it tastes delish! I think i didn't really add enough vanilla, but it's okay, because it still tastes pretty good! I'm not sure how it'll go with the macarons, because buttercream is pretty heavy in my opinion, but we'll see how it goes (:

Update back tomorrow with macarons :D Or maybe just on instagram haha!

But yay! After a year of playing with frostings, I think I have two favourites that i'll definitely reuse given the opportunity! ^^v

13 September 2013
Happygur93

Gots a pretty new dress in the mail today ^^v

Was wondering how the person would address the mail, cause i didn't give her my name, and this came today! :P


Haha, i wonder how the person felt writing that :P and the postman xD

And i was a bit unsure whether to confirm this buy after the disastrous first dress bought that was ugly ttm and misrepresented by the picture @_@ that i'm going to resell lol.

Oh and welcome the new member of my bed family haha!

Meet Tofu the flying squirrel!

And his fluffy fat tail hehe

The adorbz sealy and tofu cheering me on as I was doing MS haha

There's so many cuddlies on my bed now hahaha

And lookie this phat fluffy softttt cloud that we made for John's birthday haha 
(cause he's into a certain 'yun' ;D) #achievementunlocked

Andand on Wednesday, mugging day began as cooking lunch day with Joel where we made yumyum pizzas :D Haha we totally spammed toppings!


Hawaiian & Chicken :D

So yeah, this week was pretty good. I'm slowly beginning to understand Finance, and MS is poofy but assignment cleared~

Tomorrow's Study Day for the tuition outreach and I hope everything goes smoothly (:

12 September 2013
Update

@AzaleaChan OKAY DONE

03 September 2013

Idon'twanttostudyhelpme:(

20 August 2013
Testing Limits

School's started, and for some reason i feel uneasy.

Vivace has left me feeling mentally and emotionally wrecked for the most part, and I'm really scared it's irreversible. The saying that it's for testing friendships is really true and sadly, I kind of feel like i'm beginning to lose a friend - a person I believed to be a good friend.

Honestly, you can say and do mean things to me, judge me, and I can still be relatively okay, choosing to remember what's been done and sincerely appreciated before. But when you start judging or commenting about or talking behind my back about people dear to me, that's where I think i'm going to draw the line. And that's where i'm beginning to lose my trust bit by bit in said person. Perhaps i'm being over-sensitive about the issue, but i've been pretty intuitive and sharp about these things...

Not to mention that I feel like my confidence has been completely torn apart as well. Like, i've just completed an emailer, but I don't even know whether to be happy with it, because i'm scared that when I show it to the people in the comm, it'll get judged or mocked or rejected or I don't know.

I know I shouldn't seek approval from such people or such places, but some part of me really wants to prove myself. Yet, at the same time, a part of me also wonders why I even need to.

It's also tiring to feel like the things i've always believed in may not last.

Is this SMU's doing? The building of superficiality and hypocrisy?

I'm scared.

But then, in the light of all this, at least I know I'm still surrounded by people who care; people who I can trust no matter what. Thank God for them, because if not for them, I don't know what i'd do...